We all know how it goes. With the coming of a new year, people start making resolutions of all the accomplishments they want to achieve, all the healthy habits they want to develop, all the fantastic adventures they want to go on.
But what if, instead of focusing on all the things we want to do, we set rules for what we do NOT want to do? Often times, less is more. And removing unhealthy, damaging habits from your life can go a long way — sometimes further than adding on shiny new things.
So, here is a list of all the things I will NOT do in 2020 — and I suggest you try too:
1. Not wasting time
I have always had a bit of a tendency to be obsessed with time but that is only because I realize this is my most precious commodity. Wasting time comes in many forms… doing things you don’t want (and don’t absolutely have to do), hanging out with people you don’t like, or postponing want you want to do, for example.
Sometimes we go through life in an autopilot mode, not realizing that those days are what constitutes our lives. And wasting our days means wasting our lives. It might be daunting to think that you will die one day. But it should also be incredibly freeing. You have limited time, so make it count.
2. Not reacting
So many of our problems are generated from reacting to situations instead of acting mindfully, from letting emotions rule our responses. Being present and mindful at every moment is extremely helpful in making sure we react in ways that are true to ourselves and our believes. And it saves a lot of suffering, for both us and others. The way I know to achieve this is through a regular meditation practice but, naturally, there might be others — I dare you to find it out.
3. Not complaining
Complaining is toxic. It is a story you tell yourself about a certain situation, while not changing anything about it. Complaining is you deciding to see the glass half empty. And this attitude will just drag you on a downwards spiral. Imagine this: you get robbed, and you immediately react by complaining about how the world is terrible and how you always have bad things happening to you. Your things are gone, and you feel terrible. Now imagine this: you get robbed and you don’t react to the situation neither do you complain about it. You acknowledge the fact that it is not a pleasant situation but, luckily, you have the means to replace what was taken. Your things are still gone, but you feel much better.
Once I read a challenge somewhere about changing the complaining attitude. Decide that, for 7 days, you will not complain about anything. If you complain, the 7 days will start over. Keep going until you reach the 7 uninterrupted days and you will see magic happening!
4. Not judging
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”. Everyone should have this quote on their doors, so just they look at it every time they step outside of the house. Judging is so easy compared to kindness. Be a better person. Accept that, even if people do / say / believe something completely out of your world and comfort zone, it is still perfectly valid. As long as they are not hurting anybody, it’s ok. And have this in mind for yourself too: don’t let other people’s opinions stop you. As long as you don’t hurt anybody, you are free and entitled to do / be / believe anything you could possibly imagine.
5. Not taking it too seriously
Make your plans, try your best, but know when to let go. Life is not entirely up to you — and that’s what makes it so frustrating and so beautiful at the same time. Maybe it’s not the right path for you, maybe the timing is off, maybe the universe had other plans — but maybe those plans will be even better. Be open to whatever comes your way. Who knows where you will be one year from now?
Have a beautiful 2020, everybody!
Diana Bernardo 